One night I was drinking in Millwall
I thought I heard the ten o'clock chime
I turned to the bloke I was drinking with
and asked him if he'd got the time
He winked, tapped the side of his hooter
and with great discretion and charm
he rolled back the sleeves of his jacket
he'd got watches up both of his arms
If you don't snap 'em up you'll be sorry
'cos they're a real bargain
and if you get asked by the law
If they're making an investigation
Just say "It fell off the back of a lorry
wot 'appened to be passing" -
and landed outside your door
Wally went to get an umbrella
from a railway lost property shop
It turned out the geezer who ran it
had got only new ones in stock
"I fancied a lost one", said Wally
so this geezer gets sly and says "Sure!
These are the kind that get (If you know wot I mean)
on the way to the retailer's store"
If you don't snap 'em up you'll be sorry
'cos they're a lovely buy, guv'nor
and if you get asked by the law
If they take you down to the station
Just say "It fell off the back of a lorry
wot 'appened to be standing handy" -
and landed outside your door
Ben heard of a warehouse of tellies
so he broke in there with some of his mates
they was ferryin' all night in his Cortina
and they cram-packed his house with the crates
they opened one up in the kitchen
and was a trifle surprised, so it seems
now is there anyone 'ere got a use for
three hundred bacon-slicin' machines
If you don't snap 'em up you'll be sorry
'cos that's me last one now, darlin'
and if you get asked by the law
If they're giving you agg-ro-vation
Just say "It fell off the back of a lorry
- it's always 'appening down our way" -
and landed outside your door |
